Comments on: Our first bad word

By: SayUncle » Parents: have a way in

SayUncle » Parents: have a way in — Mon, 06 Mar 2006 04:24:44 +0000

[...] Friday, I was home alone with Junior. Went out to give the dog food and water. As I was gathering the bowls I hear click. Junior had locked me out of the house. I pleaded with her to unlock the door. She just laughed, sat in the floor and took her pants off (yes, she�s still doing that). Fortunately, we have a keypad on the garage that opens the garage door so all I had to do was walk around the house to get in. In the event I hadn�t had said keypad, not sure what I would have done. Call a the police? Locksmith? Tell them my 20 month old locked me out of the house? [...]

By: Xrlq

Xrlq — Wed, 01 Feb 2006 19:56:03 +0000

Mrs. X kept a worthless little Taco-Bell-dog in the garage for a few days. That little snot nosed dog hated my guts and barked at me every time I walked through. One time I flipped her the bird, only to have Xrlq 2.0 flip me the bird right back. I know, I deserved it.

By: _Jon

_Jon — Wed, 01 Feb 2006 19:46:31 +0000

One of Robin Williams’ skits goes like this;

“I’m driving in traffic when I’m cut off. Without thinking I shout “Fuck It!”. From a rocket seat behind me I hear; “Fuck It!”…”Fuck..fuck..fuck it!”.

Later, we were at the park and he’s in his stroller. A little old lady peers in and says; “What a cute little baby.” His response was; “Fuck You!”. “Oh! Must be the Williams boy.” she replied.”

heh. I love that stuff.

I swear constantly. (If you’ve read my stuff you’d know I can build entire sentences out of swear words and insults.) I’d be terrible around kids. I’m like the naughty uncle that teaches them things they shouldn’t do or know. I love it.

(my apologies if the cursing is insulting – no problem if you edit them.)

By: Justin Buist

Justin Buist — Wed, 01 Feb 2006 18:53:27 +0000

I’m told that ’shit’ was actually my first word. As my uncles like to put it: “Your mom’s got a mouth dirtier than a public shit hole.”

By: Phelps

Phelps — Wed, 01 Feb 2006 17:46:13 +0000

So none of you will say it, huh? I have to be the bad guy again? I hope she DOESN’T outgrow it, because that means she will be hitting the right age about the time I plan to turn into a dirty old man. And I’m armed just as well as you! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

By: tgirsch

tgirsch — Wed, 01 Feb 2006 17:28:17 +0000

Children are exceptionally good at paying attention to you when you’re not paying attention to yourself. They recognize when you’re putting on your best behavior versus when you’re acting naturally, and they strive to imitate the latter. So they’re going to latch onto everything you do or say when your guard is down.

Good thing it wasn’t me: My interjection would have begun with an F.

By: Jay G

Jay G — Wed, 01 Feb 2006 17:16:03 +0000

Unc,

One of the funniest things I can remember WRT my son in traffic happened when someone cut us off. I had to stab the brakes and swerve half-out of my lane to avoid Jane Clueless yammering on her cell phone. As soon as he felt the brakes applied and the car swerving, my son pipes up from the back seat: “Daddy! Beep the horn at the idiot”

I almost wet myself I was laughing so hard…

By: WKM

WKM — Wed, 01 Feb 2006 16:34:21 +0000

Because my daughter isn’t talking yet, I tend to forget she still absorbs everything being said. She never made attempts to walk until one day she just did. No teetering, no unbalance–just began walking like she been at it for months. Based on that, I think she will just start talking when she can speak in full sentences. I suspect her first sentences will be something like, “God damn morons. Can’t drive worth a shit.”

By: Rustmeister

Rustmeister — Wed, 01 Feb 2006 14:52:59 +0000

They are little, living, tape recorders. No doubt about it. The first one my son said back to me was “Daddy, yer draggin ass.”

He wasn’t supposed to have heard that…

By: Jay G

Jay G — Wed, 01 Feb 2006 14:19:13 +0000

Wait for it. She’ll repeat it. Most likely in the line at the grocery store.

Which is where my son decided to try out the new word he learned from Daddy.

“Dammit.”

He said it about 50 or 60 times in a row, feeding on the amused looks and chuckles he got from passers-by (an 18-month old is pretty cute even saying “Dammit”).

My wife asked him, in her sternest voice, where he heard that word. He giggled for a second and then ratted me out: “Daddy!”

I got quite the call at the office I can tell you…