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Gun Control Poker

Say Uncle does a fantastic job keeping us apprised of the anti-gun nonsense out there. One thing I’ve noticed is that the gun-grabbers keep re-using the same old tired bromides, so I propose a little game to go along with the articles: Gun Control Poker.

Spades (The Bad Guys)
A – Terrorists are Enemy Number One. Of course, terrorism is the modern-day general purpose trump card; gun-grabbers aren’t the only ones playing it.
K – “K” is for “Koncealed Karry,” bringing Wild West Mayhem and Blood in the Streets to your State!
Q – It was a tough race, but the NRA and the Evil Gun Lobby only came in 3rd place on the enemies list. Keep your eye on them, though!
J – “J” is for “New Jack,” those ’90s criminals. Criminals are well known for being law-abiding, so let’s pass laws that say they can’t have guns.
10 – 10% of police officers killed in the line of duty probably had something in common, so let’s gin up some bogus statistics.

Hearts (Tug at Your Emotions)
A – I believe the children are our future, so let’s teach them well and let them lead the way. Away from guns.
K – “K” is for “Knowledge,” which comes from Reason, which gives us reasonable gun laws.
Q – Here’s a Quiz: what are the 4 rules of gun safety? 1. Ban guns 2. Ban guns 3. Ban guns 4. Ban guns.
J – If somebody “jacks” your gun, you’d want it to be a smart gun and not work for them, right?
10 – If it “saves just one life,” why not 10?

Diamonds (The Crown Jewels of the Gun-Grabbers)
A – The Ace in the Hole of all gun control proponents: “well regulated militia.”
K – Live like a King: get rich suing gun dealers and manufacturers.
Q – The subjects of Her Majesty Elizabeth Regina II can tell you about gun registration. It works! Sorta.
J – Any man Jack can buy guns at a guns show without a background check. Let’s close thoseloopholes.
10 – The X-ring is the goal of sport shooting, and that’s the only legitimate use for guns!

Clubs (Weapons)
A – “A” is for Assault Weapon, and naturally they are at the top of the list of Evil Firearms.
K – As Field Artillery is the King of Battle, so is the .50 caliber rifle the King of Clubs.
Q – Like the Queen on the chess board, a sniper rifle can kill from long range.
J – For all those gang-bangin’ New Jacks, we have the Saturday Night Special.
10 – More than 10 rounds? That’s a high-capacity magazine!

And finally, The Joker – When I hear that Grandpa’s old .30-30 fires armor-piercing ammo, I just have to laugh.

Deal me in!

UPDATE: Changed the Jack of Diamonds to be just loopholes in general.

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