Archive for March, 2004

March 31, 2004

SayUncle gets results

Well, not really me, but lots of folks. But I got a nice letter from Lamar Alexander (R-TN) thanking me for taking the time to let him know how I feel about gun laws. He explains:

Because I believe law-abiding citizens have a constitutional right to the weapon of their choice, I support allowing the 1994 federal ban on guns and magazines to expire.

It was obviously a form letter, which is a good news/bad news thing. The bad: he didn’t take the time to write me personally. The good: he had to write a form letter because he got a lot of calls (at least three from me).

Bonus: the letter was devoid of any language involving sportsmen or hunters, which may indicate Lamar gets it.

No word from Frist yet.

Olive Salad

I have been remiss in my recipe blogging, so here’s a good little dish that will make you popular with anyone who likes olives. Trust me, this is the one most folks ask me how to make after they have it:

Olive Salad (note that amounts need not be exact)

Ingredients (for all this chopping, I use one of these but a food processor works as well):

One can of black olives (chopped)

An equal amount of green olives (chopped)

6 or 8 stalks of celery or celery hearts (chopped)

1 clove of minced garlic

1 cup of chopped leaks (or green onions; or both)

Mix all ingredients into a bowl with a lid and shake to mix thoroughly. Serve as a side dish or on crackers.

Also good to add but not necessary: capers, pepperoni, or sprinkle feta.

Heck, it’s good on a ham sandwich too.

Getting your terror plan on

USA Today writes that Americans are not prepared for a terrorist attack, despite a several million dollar ad campaign telling us to buy duct tape and plastic sheets:

Most Americans have not followed the government’s advice to prepare for terrorism by stocking food and water, making a plan to contact family members and identifying a “safe room” in their homes, a USA TODAY/CNN/Gallup Poll shows.

A year after the Department of Homeland Security launched a multi-million-dollar public relations campaign to encourage people to prepare for an attack, the percentage doing so is dropping sharply.

Four in 10 people say they have a stockpile of food and water at home, down from six in 10 a year ago. Fewer than four in 10 have a designated contact person to help their families coordinate actions. And one-quarter of those polled have a designated “safe room.”

Noticeably absent from most of this advice is the very simple Buy a gun plan. Seriously, buy a gun. Remember the LA riots? Mass confusion, neutered law enforcement, chaos in the streets, looting, beatings, and the National Guard. I particularly liked seeing the brave LAPD running from the rioters live on TV. Meanwhile, after it was over, those same police ran in bravely to arrest the Korean shop owners who used their evil assault weapons to defend their livelihood for relatively minor gun crimes. But I digress.

Fortunately for me and the Mrs., we like to camp. So, without really preparing a stockpile, we already have adequate supplies. We tend to keep about four to six gallons of store bought bottled water in the house for those impromptu camping trips. We have a huge pantry stocked with all sorts of dry goods for camping. These supplies work whether we’re camping or under terror attack.

Also, the Mrs. knows that she is to go to our secure, undisclosed location; otherwise known as my parents’ house. My job is to go home, get the dogs and supplies, and meet at the secure, undisclosed location.

I do recommend that others develop a plan because it could happen. However, I live in rural southeastern Tennessee. The odds are probably not great that we’d be subject to attack.

Well, looky y’all

Spoons is back.

Oh, that liberal media

Bubba tells us that liberal media starts today. Yeah, right.

Any way, it was funny to see Al “tackle ideas, not people” Franken on The Daily Show telling people that the facts were on his side. But I digress. My prediction: liberal radio will fail (or at least it will fail every where in the country except the bigger cities).

Also, Have you seen Janeane Garofalo’s stand-up? Man, it’s painful and she prepares for it. Now, imagine her without a script and extensively prepared material. I predict twice the boredom. She is cute though and a talented actress, but that doesn’t come through in radio.

Helmet Laws

Looks like the legislators are trying to allow people to ride motorcycles without helmets:

Riders who are at least 25, have private health insurance and pass a safety course would no longer be required to wear helmets under the bill. Twenty-seven other states have such a law.

The riders would have to pay $15 for a special designation on their driver’s licenses. It would cover administrative costs, and $10 would go to the state’s traumatic brain injury fund, said the sponsor, Sen. Tim Burchett, R-Knoxville.

I pretty much oppose helmet laws (and seatbelt laws) because it is, after all, my right to make decisions for myself, even if those decisions are irretrievably stupid.

Continuing to keep the poor disarmed

Eugene Volokh addresses public housing residents being disarmed. Like some other gun laws, its result is that poor folks can’t arm themselves. This is not the intent but it is what happens.

Maryland Assault Weapons Ban Update

The Maryland Assault Weapons Ban is dead, at least during this legislative session.

March 30, 2004

I Get E-mail

I get sometimes e-mail from my parents, aunts, uncles, and others of pre-boomer age. It’s usually of the chain-letter variety. Today I got one with this subject line:

Fw: FW: This is reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally freaky!!!!!

The text of the message was:

Anybody out there know how this works?

Those two data points alone were enough for me to guess correctly the actual topic of discussion (way down there below the two groups of lucky folks who were forwarded this before it got to me).

Any guesses? Click “MORE…” to find out!
Read the rest of this entry »

It’s not a bug, it’s a feature (or 20 synonyms for fart)

One thing that people will warn you about when considering a bully type dog is that they tend to be a bit flatulent. Supposedly, they toot a lot. When our non-bully dog (Politically Correct Dog) strips a gear, it usually goes like this:

The family is watching a movie when suddenly Politically Correct Dogís ears perk up and he runs away quickly. Then, you can count to about seven or so and you smell the result of his booty burp. Politically Correct Dog doesnít really have a warning system for his barking spiders because him leaving the room may mean that he hears a noise and doesnít necessarily denote a bratwurst bugle. He’s silent but violent.

The same situation with Politically Incorrect Dog (our bully) is different. See, Politically Incorrect Dog comes equipped with anal acoustics. When he rips a bubbler, everyone in the house knows exactly what happened. This warning system is awesome as it gives you ample time to prepare yourself for the pungency of his fartvergnugen. When you hear his butt trumpets, you have time to clear the area. And boy should you. It’s not that bullies let loose with low flying geese any more often but their fannytosis is usually loud.

What is particularly funny, is that his poots often surprise him. Suddenly, he takes a keen interest in his nether regions (as if to say Now, what the Hell was that?) for about 0.5 seconds before running like the wind he just broke. It is not uncommon for his air biscuits to awaken him (and the household) from a slumber.

I donít think that Politically Incorrect Dog cuts muffins any more than Politically Correct Dog. Itís just that when he shoots bunnies, itís louder. Mind you, no matter which dog steps on a duck, it smells like ass.

I have noticed Politically Incorrect Dog and Politically Correct Dog crank out a lot more duck calls since Mrs. Uncle is pregnant.

Take Heed

Bill (in addition to blogrolling me) has some advice for bloggers regarding feeds (everyone should have one). Particularly, he tells blogspot patrons how to set one up. It’s handy for those of us that use Bloglines.

No, Timmy, it’s pronounced tentacles

I like that line in the title. It’s from some commercial I’ve seen a lot of lately. The problem is that, though I remember the commercial and am quite amused by it, I don’t know what product it was advertising.

Bad advertisement is funny, some of the time. But it’s not real effective at getting me to buy the product.

Pesky Pop Ups

Thanks to a reader, I have to put in a shameless plug for Ad-Aware to rid your machine of adware.


Seriously, CBS edited Janet Jackson saying Jesus. That’s pretty lame. Good thing she wasn’t showing boobs or anything.

Question for my readers

Anyone know why my google tool-bar is suddenly less effective at stopping pop-ups? And why Yahoo suddenly has pop-ups? Did I accidentally install some ad-ware or something?

Update: It seems that blogspot now has pop-ups to, which leads me to believe that I somehow installed ad-ware or something. Anyone know how to search and destroy that stuff?

Another TN gun bill

A push is on to open police shooting ranges to the public. After all, the public does pay for them.

Light Blogging

This is the obligatory apology for light blogging. Things are crunching at work, and so forth and so on.

The good news is that Say Uncle himself is always blogging up a storm, and we’ve got a mighty fine blogroll, too.

Guns in bars update

The bill to allow weapons permit holders to carry in establishments that serve alcohol as long as they’re not drinking, is getting pushed in Tennessee again. I support this because if I pull in to a restaurant and leave my gun in the car, I am breaking the law. The bill would allow restaurants to ban packing, just like other businesses do:

West says currently permitted gun owners technically are breaking the law if they have a weapon in their car while frequenting a restaurant that serves alcohol. The law would allow the gun owner to legally carry the gun in their vehicle or on their person. And business owners would possess the authority to forbid guns to be carried inside their respective establishments, says West.

And the article had these neat stats (which I want a record of):

While West says permit carriers havenít committed felonies, according to the Department of Safety 133 permits were revoked last year for various requirement violations, said Beth Denton, DOS spokesperson. More than 155,000 Tennesseans possess permits, she said.

Purely Cosmetic

Hey, a college kid writes about the assault weapons ban and that it’s purely cosmetic. Good. Read the whole thing.

March 29, 2004

The Police State Marches On

Via Steve, comes news of home raided because it’s power bill was unusually high. A high power bill is grounds for a warrant and raid?

This reminds me of a guy I wrote about here whose house was searched for guns and they knew he had guns because all the guns were legally registered and specified in the warrant. His house was raided to look for legally owned weapons.

For Jeff

Jeff has started a new blog about pets and asked for pictures. A while back, I told everyone how a laser pointer is entertaining for bull dogs and owners, even if you aim at the ceiling:


Yes, he’s on my couch.


G. Hayduke attempts to warn people about allying themselves with gun owners. S/He implies that all of us gun-toting types are backwoods hicks who dream fondly of taking the nation back to the 18th century. Of course, s/he spends (at my count) six paragraphs describing the characteristics of us gun-nuts and one making the point (which is careful who you ally with). All these characteristics ring of Howard Dean’s pick-up trucks and confederate flag hullabaloo.

So, Mr/s. Hayduke, as an anti-death penalty, pro-choice, pro-gay marriage, income tax hating, pro-constitution, supporter of the war in Iraq and the war on terror (who realizes they are not the same thing), lover of civil liberties, pro-drug legalization, non-racist, pro-union, anti-affirmative action gun nut, I appreciate you lumping us gun folks into whatever categories make your world view convenient. However, I won’t lump you in the same category as the Saturn-driving, goatee-sporting, organic deodorant reeking, unwashed hippie-esque, Birkenstock wearing, Bush is a Nazi, Kucinich for president, all my clothes smell like weed, gun fearing wussies before I conclude you’re wrong. I’d appreciate the same from you.

500,000 people died and all they got was this moment of silence

Annan, the ineffectual, has asked for a worldwide moment of silence to remember the 500,000 Rwandans who died during the 1994 genocide. Ten years later, we get a remembrance.

Annan, who was head of U.N. peacekeeping at the time of the genocide that killed more than 500,000 people, told a memorial conference on the genocide that most of the deaths could have been prevented if the international community had acted swiftly.

“But the political will was not there, and nor were the troops,” he said in opening remarks to the conference.

The conference came about a week before the 10-year anniversary of the genocide, which targeted mainly minority Tutsis and politically moderate members of the Hutu majority. Annan said he backed a Rwandan call for a worldwide minute of silence at 12 p.m. local time in every country around the world on April 7.

Annan has expressed his regret over Rwanda in the past, but rarely so contritely.

“I believed that I was doing my best, but I realized after the genocide that there was more that I could and should have done to sound the alarm and rally support,” Annan said.

And somehow the international community is supposed to be taken seriously?

Somber Site

This list of drug war victims and their stories is quite disturbing.

I voted for what?

Alphie reports that open government is on its way to Tennessee.

Quote of the day

Bubba in his comments:

Bill Maher is the only guy (so far) to be fired over 9/11.

Libertarian Candidates Square Off

Three contenders for the Libertarian nomination made their respective cases as to why they should be the nominee for president:

The candidates, though, were hardly of the Kerry or Bush ilk. In fact, their relative facelessness is the crux of the party’s trouble.

Former Hollywood producer Aaron Russo, computer consultant Michael Badnarik and radio talk-show host Gary Nolan touted their platforms to about 70 people at their party’s annual convention in hopes of securing a ballot spot. The final candidate will be chosen in May at the party’s national convention in Atlanta.

The trio espoused a monolithic sentiment of limited government ó the party’s mantra since it was founded in Colorado in 1971.

“Most of what our government is doing is unconstitutional,” Mr. Badnarik said in opening his presentation. “And most people understand that but don’t know what to do about it.”

Mr. Nolan promised to abolish the Internal Revenue Service and bring U.S. troops home from all stations abroad, adding that “if you want a smaller government, you really can’t vote for George Bush, can you?”

“We need a candidate who is going to get out and spread the word” of the Libertarian Party, he said. The party claims to have around 123,000 registered voters nationwide.

While I admire their sentiment, they keep affirming to the nation that they are crazy. As much as I’d like to see the IRS abolished, you can’t run on a platform like that and expect to be taken seriously. Also, I don’t understand why the Libertarians focus so much energy on the Presidency. They’d be better served using their resources to get lower level political offices. This way, they have a chance to win. And, if their record is good, they can run on those records. Until then, they’ll continue to be viewed as a fringe party. Of course, I’ll probably vote for their candidate.

Bumper Sticker Lovin’

Jeff opines:

Have you ever noticed that 90% of the political bumper stickers you see on cars express far-left views, while the other 10% express far right ones?

He then proposes moderate bumper stickers. I don’t think that’s the problem, really. See, what happens is that far left folks tend to have shittier cars. Therefore, they have no qualms about defacing their property with some one-liner.

As a matter of policy, I don’t put stickers on my car because I don’t want some soccer mom or hippie loser to decide to vandalize my vehicle based on my political statements. Plus, as Kevin said, there’s not a bumper sticker big enough for everything I have to say.

Weekly Check on the Bias

Jeff has the latest check on gun bias, with a cool .50 cal pic.

Today’s funny