I’m sticking with black, but these look kinda cool!

Some woman too stupid to realize she needs to watch her step is suing PetsMart because she stepped in dog poo and fell.

First, folks speculated that Bush would announce last night he caught UBL. Now, they claim to have captured two of his 14 or 18 sons. UBL gets around.

A proposed law in Tennessee waives sales taxes on the purchase of gun safes.

See the rules.

Since the last one should have clued you in, today’s noun is: Democrat.

185 Democrats walk in to a bar [add a punch line in comments]

The speech was very nationalist. I think it’s important to the American people that Bush spell out in no uncertain terms that they are more important than the UN. Of course, the accusations of arrogance in the rest of the world will run amok, amok, amok.

I hope it was one last attempt at diplomacy. It will be fun to see France try to explain why they feel Iraq is complying with 1441. The burden was placed clearly on Hussein.

And I’m not sure, but if you take every third letter from every fifth word, it spells out: The Security Counsel Can Go Fuck Itself And Its Little Dog Too.

He says Bush will lose to a mysterious and unnamed Democrat, or at least a poll says that. Oh wait, I covered that already.

The first one was fun.

Todays Noun: Republican

185 Republicans walk in to a bar. Comment on a punchline. Have fun.

I’m having issues with my comments. I’ll likely change to a different provider soon. Anyone have suggestions? Enetation is just down too much. You get what you pay for, I guess. Send me an email if you have suggestions since my comments seem to be on dysfunctional.

I said I was going to do my part to support Bushmaster. Then I went to the recent gun show and realized that the dealers jacked the prices up. So, I decided to build one.

I went out and bought one of these:

Then I bought these:

Notice that only that thing on the bottom (a lower receiver) is the only portion considered to be a firearm. It had to be registered.

Then I laid the parts on out my sophisticated workbench (the wife always calls it the dinner table, what does she know).

This is where I got scared. I’m not mechanically inclined at all. But I assembled those little parts into the lower receiver using only pliers, an allen wrench, a small phillips screwdriver, and a large flathead screwdriver. It’s a good thing I bought that duct tape, because here you can see me using it cover the lower receiver so that I don’t scratch it when I’m hammering in a pin:

Then I put it all together and it looks like this:

Now, I still need one of these:

And one of these:

So far, this has been a real fun project. I’ll finish it by the next gun show and take it out for a shoot. Hope it works!

The folks at J&T Distributing were real helpful about answering my questions. And I bought the upper receiver (the first picture) from them. So, I’m not supporting Bushmaster as much as I wanted to since the dealers are jacking the prices up, but I plan on buying their parts (just not a full gun).

Also, I learned about all this stuff from those wonderful people at AR15.com. They have a build your own forum and a manual for assembling the lower receiver.

The Rant runs a game of name that movie. SKB responded by having a movie quotes game. Rex began a rock n’ roll quote game. Troy started a literary game. And, you guessed it, I’m not above stealing the idea.

At the blogger bash, we watched Einstein Simplified (an improv show) and they had a game that I thought was pretty neat called 185. The rules of the game (per their site) are:

Players step forward and deliver a joke about an audience provided noun in the form: 185 nouns walk in to a bar. The bartender says I can’t serve 185 nouns. And 185 nouns say .

An example from Tuesday was when the noun was bachelor. One of them stepped forward and said: 185 bachelors walk in to a bar and ABC called it a show. Another one was when the noun was American Idol Reject, one of them said: 185 American Idol Rejects walk in to a bar and go back to work.

So, I will play audience by stating the noun and periodically I’ll list a punch line or two. Leave your own in the comments. Should make for a good laugh.

Today’s noun is (and this should be obvious) blogger.

DailyPundit tells us that the assault weapons ban of 94 may not get renewed. The article is here.

Me and Mrs. Uncle went to the blogger bash over at Patrick Sullivan’s. Andrew was kind enough to send a sampler of single malt scotch for me to distribute. I called dibs on the Dalwhinnie. Me and Mrs. Uncle were concerned about getting the scotch into Sullivan’s. After all, they are in the business of selling what we were trying to sneak in. So, we used some fairly sophisticated terrorist technology to slip the bottles past security (and two police officers).

I finally got to meet Barry. He’s a super nice guy. Rich (the host) was as gracious as ever. He’s absolutely one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet. He does want to know why all the debate occurs over at SKB’s and not at his site. To which we all responded: ‘Cause Bubba’s the Democrat.

Bubba and Mrs. Bubba were there. Two real class acts whom me and the mrs. enjoyed talking to! Troy and Rex are still two of the funniest guys I’ve ever met.

After dinner, we caught Einstein Simplified. It was an improv show and it was surprisingly good! Me and the Mrs. will go back some day when we can stay out later (had to let the pup pee).

We’ve decided to dispatch a search and rescue operation to obtain the whereabouts of Bjorn and Brehd, who were noticeably absent. By noticeably, I mean they said they were coming and didn’t.

It was a good time!

With North Korea doing flybys of our spy planes and having nukes, it’s no wonder we let some things slide. These folks may be able to retaliate. Obviously, we can’t let Iraq get to a point where they can openly defy us with retaliatory capabilities.

Of course, this is over simplistic. You handle a country like North Korea differently because of their more advanced military capabilities than you would Iraq. I suppose the administration is working out the details for Korea to be next. One at a time, my friends.

Well, here’s a handy pamphlet from the North American Guidelines for Children’s Agricultural Tasks. There is so much wrong with this pamphlet. Oh, where to begin?

Thanks to OMG for the link!

I have nothing to say. I’m speechless. And there was much rejoicing.

Nothing more to see here. Keep it moving. Move along quietly. Get outta my yard, ya damn kids!

Update: I just mean for today, in case I scared you.

My wife and I have differing tastes in music. She’s country and I’m metal. We have a rule in the car that the driver chooses the music (mostly). My wife likes the Dixie Chicks. I don’t. Actually, I refer to them as The Dixie Chicks and that fat girl (only two of them are chicks, really). Apparently, they’re playing in Knoxville in May and tickets went on sale yesterday at 10:00 a.m. The wife plans on going with a friend.

At 10, the wife starts calling the ticket people (and her friend did too). I ask my wife if she thought tickets would be on sale online. So, I hop online and begin searching, while she’s calling in and getting the busy signal. I find the site and click the Buy Tickets button. And my request can’t be processed due to high traffic volume (that’s the message I get). In this day and age, why are concert promoters so behind in technology? Why can’t they have a web page setup to deal with volume? Or a phone system to do the same?

After trying for 40 minutes, we gave up and went to run some errands. The wife has both cell phones in the car set to redial and is using them both while I drive (so, we’re not listening to the Dixie Chicks). And still no answer. Why don’t these people keep up with technology?

Thompson Boling Arena only holds 24,535. It’s not that much volume. My wife’s friend eventually got through and got some not real good seats for $65 each. My wife was disappointed they cost so much. And I tell her that’s the result of Morpheus, Napster, and Kazaa. Again, the music industry is way behind the times.